No reason
by innocent.vampire
Summary: What if Bella died before Renesmee was born? what would Edward do when he losses the reason of his existence? This is the story of what he did and How much hurt he felt


**A/N: Oh my. It's been many months since I've last written a one-shot. I can't believe that I'm writing again. ****Here in my one-shot, Jake and the wolves didn't go to check Bella. So, Jacob's not here. Please review and enjoy.**

**Oh yeah, if you're a reader of my other fanfic, "my house or your house", I'll update…soon. My beta, MsSailorman is already editing. Check her stories, too! It'll be worth it. I promise.**

**Ok, let's stop my blabbering.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Besides the plot, everything belongs to the creative author of Twilight, Ms. Stephenie Meyer…**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**

EPOV

As the moon rise, I could hear my family calling out for me. There would be no reason for them to look for me. They already know where I am. Here, kneeling in front of my love's grave in our meadow, Thinking of the days we spent together and sometimes, telling her the plans I made for us, the places we would visit, the people we would meet and the things we could have done together. But now, she's gone. God had took her back again and left me alone. And I now that I'll never be whole without her by my side. Never whole without her. And it's all because of me why she died…

…

_W__e left Isle Esme-already knowing that Bella was pregnant by my baby. My baby. I never thought that the word__** my**__ and__** baby**__ will be in a same sentence that will came out from my mouth or even in thoughts. But now, Bella was pregnant. My feelings are torn by two: __**excitement**__ –by the idea of having my own child- and __**fear**__. Fear that Bella would die just in process of giving birth to the chid. I thought that she was angry at me for doing this at her. Though, I couldn't blame her. I was really the one who did this to her. And as much as I hate it, we would have to give up the baby. When we came to the airport, all of plans are ruined. I read Rosalie's mind and saw that Bella want to keep the baby while she was thinking of ways of disposing Bella and have the child alone._

_All because of Rose, everything became more complicated than ever. The…thing…inside Bella-that's what I call it now.- was hurting her than ever, but she wouldn't let us take the…thing out of her and Rosalie just fed her insanity._

_Three days passed and Carlisle was just about to check on Bella when we heard a loud 'crack' and a loud scream from Bella. I rushed to her and put my hand on her forehead. She gripped it tightly._

"_Bella, love" I said soothingly. Though I could hardly recognize my voice through it's emptiness. Like me._

"_EDWARD!" she shrieked her hand grasping mine tightly. I wanted to cover my ears and drown her pained strained voice. But, I can't. Instead, I put my other hand on her face and stroke it lightly._

"_Carlisle." I called out. In a matter of second, he was beside me again, examining Bella while I read his thoughts_

'_This isn't good'_

_He thought. I turned and face him but never let my hands fall for Bella's hand and face._

"_Why?" I asked. He didn't look up at me and kept checking._

"_The…thing…must have been draining her blood and now…her heart is almost giving up." His said. It's true; Bella's heartbeats are getting weaker at every second._

"_Get some blood upstairs" I hissed. He just shook his head. I didn't realize that the whole family is already with us until I heard Alice shouting at me through her mind._

'_you can do it, Bella!' she thought. I just kept her out and focused on Bella. As soon as my attention fell back to her, she gasped and opened her eyes to look at me._

"_Edward…I…love…you…" she gasped through her breaths. The way she said it made me angry._

"_No!" I yelped. "Don't say that like it was a good-bye!"_

'_Oh God. No." Carlisle thought. I look at him again._

"_No!" I yelped again._

"_Edward…she's dyi-" he said but I cut him off._

"_She's not! I'm changing her!" I said and before I could think about it, I sank my teeth at Bella's wrist. She cried out in pain._

"_Edward…I…love…you…forever…" She gasped again. I shook her hand and brought my hand that is resting on her face at her hand._

"_NO!" I yelped again. "STOP THAT!"_

"_NO… be strong…and…go on with…your…life…"She said before she shrieked in pain again._

"_But you're my life, Bella" I said as she brought her trembling hand on my cheek. I look at Carlisle. "Help her. Please."_

_He shook his head gravely. I turned to my family and saw my own pain reflecting on their eyes. This is impossible._

'_Now, the baby's gone.' Rosalie thought gravely. She did not grief for Bella. She __grieves for the lost of her own desire._

"_You pathetic bitch!" I shouted at her. "You don't care about Bella! All you cared about is the baby. The baby that is not even yours!"_

_Everyone shrunk at my words. Then, I heard Bella called for me. I was immediately looking at her again._

"_Don't…fight…I…love you all." She gasped. "Edward…be…nice…when I'm go-"_

"_NO! how many times do I have to tell you?" I said. "you'll live!" she smiled at me for a second before beckoning me to lean in to her. I easily complied. As soon as I was near enough, she touched her soft lips to mine._

"_I love you, Edward." She whispered in my lips._

"_I love you too, Bella." I said. I opened my eyes and saw her smiling at me before her eyes closed and her heartbeats falter and died._

"_Bella?" I asked, shaking her lightly. "Bella? Bella, love? Bella!" Though, she did not bulge at all. She's just there, looking as though like she was sleeping. I called for her again before I crush her in my chest. I could feel myself shaking with dry sobs._

"_Edward, she's-" Esme tried to say but I just cut her off._

"_No, she'll wake up, she'll never leave me." I said as I pressed Bella tighter in my chest. This is impossible. Bella will never leave me. We both promised._

"_Bella." I whispered. "Wake up, honey. I promise, I will not go in your way of having our baby. Just please, please, wake up."_

"_Edward, she's gone. You can't bring her back." Alice whispered as she sat beside me and touched Bella's hair. "We have to make it look like she died and bring her to Charlie"_

"_NO!" I shouted. "no one can touch her. No one can get her away from me." I was suddenly on my feet and before I knew it, I was running with Bella in my arms in the meadow. I could hear every one calling out for me, telling me to get back. But I didn't turn . I walk faster until we get there. I laid her on the grass and pulled her close to me. I pressed my face on her chest and cried a tearless cry._

"_Bella, If you wake up, I'll do everything you want me to. Just please come back." I said as my body shook with dry sobs._

_In three hours, all I do was made a promise to Bella and hopelessly forcing her to wake up until Alice showed up beside me._

"_Edward, you have to let her go. She deserves to be free." She said. I turn to look at her and saw that her spiky hair was already dishevelled. I look at her with glassy eyes._

"_What about me, Alice?" I asked. "What about me?" Alice shook her head at me._

"_you heard what Bella said: you have to be strong." She said._

"_I can't be." I whispered. "She's everything to me. In this time, you already killed me. The world is now useless to me. I'm already dead, Alice. Dead with her."_

_Alice gently stood me up. For the first time in hours, I let Bella lay on the grass and let my hands slip from her waist._

" _I don't know if I can let her go, Al" I said as Alice lean down and stroke Bella's hair before her body shook with tearless sobs._

"_You know, Edward," She said, still stroking Bella's hair. "When Bella came, you changed so much. You're not the same Edward I know fifty years ago. Bella changed you.__** Bella changed us all.**__"_

"_I know that, Alice." I whispered. "She made me see sense in this entire monstrosity. She made me realize that maybe- no. not maybe, that the reason why I became a vampire is because God wants us to be together. That I became a vampire to wait for her."_

_Alice smiled slightly at me and put an arm on my arm._

"_That's why she deserves to be free." She said. "We need to get her back to Charlie."_

_I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. I know that Alice was right._

_But It's hard to let go the person you love knowing that when you do, you'll never see her again. But, Alice is right. Bell would want Charlie to know, too._

_So, I picked Bella in my arms and saw in Alice's mind that I would bring her to Carlisle first. With Alice behind me, I walk in human pace back to the house. I want to savour every moment I can have with her._

"_Edward!" Esme said as we came inside the door. She looked at Bella and whispered, "You'll always be my daughter, Bella."_

_I nodded and lay Bella on the couch. Everyone just stared at Bella, saying their good byes through their minds._

'_Thank you, Bella." Alice thought. 'You're the best sister any vampire would wish to have.'_

'_Thank you, for bringing happiness here, Bella.' Emmett thought. 'We love you'_

'_sorry, Bella. For the thing I did to you on your 18__th__ birthday.' Jasper thought. 'I thank you for being so forgiving.'_

'_I'm sorry, Bella for being such a bitch.' Rosalie thought. 'I wish you would forgive me.'_

'_thank you for making Edward happy, Bella' Esme thought._

'_Your always be my daughter, Bella.' Carlisle thought._

_I looked at them, though; I can't take hearing their good byes. As much I love to stay here, I couldn't take it. Without realizing it, I made my way slowly up to my room and began mourning for the lost of my love, other half, companion and life._

_I don't know how long I sat-motionless and thinking nothing of Bella. Her smile, her voice, her smell and the love I felt for her. Until Alice made her way to my room._

"_Edward, we need to go at Bella's funeral." She said._

_I turn to look at her and stood up, not bothering to change clothes or do anything else, I just wait for her to tell to move._

"_Come on." She whispered before running down the stairs, I just followed her._

_When I came down, Everyone's thoughts are focused on when I will just break down. I didn't say anything. Finally, Carlisle motioned for us to go. I didn't listened to any thought, any word, I just thought about ways of how I can see my love again._

It's been three months since my angel died. Three months of mourning. Honestly, I never thought I'd last this long. I only did for my family. I know that they will be devastated to loss two members of the family at once but, I think they all ready did. When Bella died, I died. There's no reason anymore. No reason to talk, to smile….to live. She's my everything. The one that makes me want to dance whenever I see the sun rose to the sky because it meant that I'll be seeing her, the one that makes me happy that I can't sleep because it'll mean that I'll be able to watch her and enjoy listening to her murmuring my name while she sleeps and most importantly, the one that made me happy that I'm a vampire. Because it means that I can get to keep her forever.

But now, I'm angry at myself. If I just didn't let myself sleep with her, she'll be here with me. Happy and maybe, already a vampire. But no. I got to ruin it all. I stroked her tomb gently, tracing her name and the words Charlie let me think of. .

_Isabella Marie S. Cullen_

_1989- 2008_

_A loving daughter, sister, friend and loving wife. _

_To those whom she left, she'll never be forgotten_

_and will be treasured forever_

Yes. Bella will be treasured forever. At her funeral, almost all the people in Forks went. Including all our classmates and teachers. Even the pack went. I know Jacob was furious. But my family begged him to leave me alone. I was already blaming myself. My family thought that I'll never make it if Jacob appeared and blame me worse. Which made me thankful. I don't know if I can take the truth from Jacob Black.

Because he knows it. He knew that I should have just let her be with him. He knows that this will never happen if I didn't came back.

It's all my fault.

I sighed and sat with my Bella.

" Bella, love" I said. "I'm so sorry but, This is the last time that I'll visit you here."

A wind suddenly gust by, as if like Bella was disagreeing.

"I know, love." I said. "I don't want to do this, too. But it'll not be for long. Will see each other again. Soon."

I reluctantly stood up and brush a hand to the tomb as another wind rushed by.

"See you, love" Is all I said before I ran.

Ran towards Italy.

**A/N: Tada! It's done. Pretty weird for an ending, but still. I'm happy I finished. **

**Also, Review. Because it makes me day.**

**;)**

**~Larisza~**


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